Coming through to today

For the past few days, life has started to change a bit for me. There has been some good memories resurfacing, some not so good memories, and then there has been new ones made.

SATURDAY

We went to the cabin to rake leaves. JR Mess, Kristin, Jordan, and us. Grandpa was up there too working on some stuff. We started out pretty strong, for getting there at midday. (Elle was at Grant's this weekend so there was no little ones to watch) (As I sit and type this I am overjoyed.. She is currently holding on to my leg and looking blankly at the computer screen, obviously with no clue that I am typing about her .. SO ADORABLE!) Somewhere in the day, J and myself got annoyed with each other. Not sure who started it, not sure why.. Maybe it was just one of those days... A little while later, I was summoned to the beach to rake that. I finished it up with everyone else, and then was sitting in the sand making a sand castle just thinking.. Wondering what in the world was going on with myself and him... Why we were acting the way we were.

All the sudden, out of NOWHERE, these arms were locked under my arms, picking me up.. . My head was swirling... No clue who it was or their intentions with me. I realize, a little too late, that I am being DRAGGED into the lake... And just like that, I am out 20-30 feet, and my head is under water. I have water up my nose, I am trying to hold my breath as I realize I am under water. As I make my way to the surface, wipe my eyes out, breath AIR, and open my eyes, I see this boy... With a reddish goatee, and a BIG SMILE... Instantly, I start grinning.. Most girls would be furious... After all, he SOAKED all my clothes... My shoes are STILL wet today, and I had no other shoes or shorts with me.. Which all ended in a mud fight between the two of us.. But I couldn't help but smiling. I enjoy these little random moments that a lot of other people would absolutely hate.

.... On a side note, I know the bible says "'Revenge is mine', sayeth the Lord"... But... I can't help but feeling it is unfair that this whole ordeal was pre-mediated and he had time to take his shoes, socks, and shirt off before dousing me.... I think he needs a little retaliation... Not REVENGE per say, but definitely a little razzing... To be taken by surprise... :-) I'm not mad... I am just gonna get even.

SUNDAY

...What to say about yesterday. I went with J to look at a car in Bloomington.. Granted, even the word "Bloomington" brings something back to me... Good memories, bad memories.. We actually ended up going to Chad's house to get some stuff that I had left there. I never, in a million and 500 thousand years, would have thought that I would be going back there.. On that familiar street... With that familiar car in the driveway... LET ALONE that I went back with Josiah. All these things were running through my mind as I was driving down that street... I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going against every grain in my body. I didn't want to be going back down that road. I didn't want to be anywhere near that place. But I was there.. They talked.. Got along alright for the awkward situation.. Then it was over. And I came out alive. :-) I don't ever have to go back into that part of my life again. I can forget about it. God forgave me... Josiah forgave me. My family forgave me. I think I have finally forgiven myself. I can be done with it. (YESS!!!) Anyways... after we stopped there, we looked at the car. Honda Accord 1998 v6. Pretty car. Normal Honda rust, but looks and works great. I really am dying to put the original exhaust back on though. :) It will be quieter. But it is a great little car, and I am buying it... With the money J loaned me until I sell my Audi. Which brings me into

TODAY

..I had a job interview at 10:30 this AM at A&W and Long John Silver's in Coon Rapids. I just got called. He offered the job to me. 7 and a quarter... I haven't been paid that low since I was 16 I think. At ColdStone. I am going to have to work really hard to even get close to what I was getting at TCF per week. But the child support will help pay for Elle's expenses... So that will cut down on that area, which is deinitely nice. But I guess God is putting this in my way for a reason- maybe to be a friend to someone who doesn't have one.. Maybe to encourage a pregnant girl... Maybe to pray for someone that needs prayer there... Maybe to be a good example to someone who already has a child.. Maybe to humble myself.. Start from scratch again.. Ya know, like... I've completely come to the end of myself, and now I am starting over again. On the right track this time. He is going to make me work for my money.. I will be way more careful on what I spend it on. Or maybe God has me there to simply enjoy the perks of free root beer! (I gotta keep myself in a positive mood... Looking at the good things of this new job. Help me!) But I guess it is a blessing to be able to have money coming in soon. And I need to be thankful that God has blessed me with this... I need to be thankful that I am even going to get ANY money for YWAM this fall.. :) So here I am, thankful..

Tonight I am going with J to get my new old car.. I am getting more excited! After we get that, we are going to meet someone here at the house and I might be saying goodbye to my Audi...