As I lay in my bed with Elle this afternoon, (I told her we could snuggle before she took a nap, which ended in being a full nap for both herself and me) I felt an ultimate sense of contentment. I felt God's protection on us. He let me know everything would work out... No more worrying about a job, no more worrying about if I will raise enough YWAM money. No more worrying about what degree to shoot for in school.. No more worrying about finances. No more worrying about Elle in an unhealthy way. (Other than the normal worries... "Don't go in the road"!) (A huge struggle within the past few months as I haven't been working but feverently looking for a job to have money to support my child and get completely out of debt... And to not have to borrow money from other people..) As I lay there, I just gave all my frustrations to God. All my worries... All my insecurities... He made me the way I am. He will open doors and close them. He knows my situations and He knows how to tweak them into something that can bless Him. Or He knows that what is happening right now is exactly what needs to happen in order to continue to shape my character and relationship with Him. I just let go of EVERYTHING. I am at the end.. Crying out to God to show me... Let me know what the next step is. I have nothing left.. Other than my daughter and people.... And God. I let everything go... All worries about everything. All the things I have been holding on to and taking upon myself.. I put them into God's hands...
Afterall, He IS the one who knows everything... How to handle everything. How to do anything, how to change anything..
Why not put everything in His hands? He does a much better job with handling my life than I do.
Jer. 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord.
He's got His plan. I have just decided to merge my plan with His.
Let's see where that takes us.
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