"Getting married"..
Isn't that something most girls have thought about since they first picked up a Barbie and Ken doll?
I know I have. I have dreamed of this day for so long... What types of centerpieces, where it would be, how many people, bridesmaid dress color,the type of food and dancing that will be at the reception, how my hair will be done and so much more.
I have married countless Ken and Barbie dolls to each other, each with a slightly different atmosphere, but ultimately a perfect ending.
I have carried a blueprint of what my "perfect ending" wedding would look like for as long as I can remember... There are just two things that I have missed:
1.) The groom... In the FLESH.
2.) The Creator of marriage's involvement in our special day... God.
Have I romanticized myself about this day so much that the groom's face is a blur? Am I in love with the idea of a "wedding" or am I in love with the man I am going to be waking up next to for the next 60 years? The man I am going to have a "marriage" with. How have I invested time into that lately? Have I just let the excitement of "stargazers or daisies" and "white or ivory chair covers" overthrow what this day is actually celebrating? The holy union of man and woman's relationship with each other under God's authority?
I have decided something, on this 8th day of July, 2011.
I, Kelsie Joy Hultberg, DESIRE GOD in my wedding. I want to bring Him in. Involve Him. After all, He is the One who created the idea of marriage. He created man and woman. He created all the beautiful things that go into this lifetime investment. He is the ONLY center glue of what will ultimately hold this relationship together.
So often in the past, I have felt like I am not worthy of God's presence in my life. I am a dirty rotten sinner, so I have hidden my face from His. I have been so ashamed of my life- past regrets and mistakes.. But you know what? Not anymore.
I am asking God to come into this time of preparation for the road ahead.
God, I INVITE you to be a special part of this day. Let it be centered not on us, but on YOU and the grace and mercy you have extended toward us countless times.
I want to walk down that aisle, with a white runner, in a white dress, feeling confident that I deserve it. I desire a clear conscience and a certainty beyond a shadow of a doubt.
God, I wouldn't ever dream of inviting a stranger to my wedding. I don't want you to be a stranger when you are at ours. Please, show me who you are again. Clear my eyes, Clear my conscience, clear my worldly ways. Give us a refreshment that will last a lifetime. Give us everlasting grace and mercy as we join hands together in your house. Be the center of our celebration in a year. Be the center of our household. Be the core of everything we do and say and think.
When we must face the world alone
ReplyDeleteIt seems a lonely place.
If we've no one to share it with,
We cannot see its grace.
We're lost upon an empty sea
Adrift within the storm.
A shadow of our former selves
Without substance or form.
And yet, we strive to carry on,
To see the sun once more.
We place our hearts upon the block,
As we have done before.
But often we will move too fast,
Or try to skip ahead.
If one but glances through a book,
He can't know what he's read.
Each story cultivates a path,
From beginning to end.
It's a trail true love must follow,
The way that it was penned.
If you attempt to circumvent
The courtship at the start,
Your romance will become a fling,
Which leads to broken hearts.
For who could ever trust someone
Who gives themselves so swift,
And shares with one they hardly know
Such an intimate gift.
Happy endings are rarely found,
In tales that start this way.
Such passion sometimes feels like love,
But passion fades away.
And if no love can then be found,
You'll be alone again.
Adrift upon that empty sea,
Where you have often been.
For if your offered love is free,
And it need not be earned,
What merit do you think it has,
When it is not returned?
Love's worth is measured by the work
Required to make it grow.
But when you give that love away,
Its value is brought low.
So if you seek this treasured prize,
Here's what you'll have to do.
The love you offer someone else
Must mean something to you.
I wish i could hear from ya.....
<3 your biggest fan