So many times, I think about my life. My future. My family. I wonder what they will think about me as I age... And what they will think after I am gone.
I hope that my life is an example to them. I hope I am not boring. I hope that I am a godly influence on them.
I hope and pray that they will see me as an exciting, loves life, loves adventure, loves God kind of woman.
I hope they confide in me, and ask me questions about my life.
I hope that my walk and journey through life is definitely a walk to remember.
28 July, 2010
26 July, 2010
Rollercoasters
I remember when I was younger. I loved going on rollercoasters. Still do. But I specifically remember that feeling I would get while riding "The Wild Thing" at Valleyfair... Or when doing the "loop-di-loops" at Six Flags on the Superman ride. I know that feeling so well... The feeling of my stomach rising into my chest so quick, and me being a little off of my seat in the car... And then I remember going from that while I am going down a hill, to all the sudden being jolted back into my seat... Because we are going back uphill again.
I still love that feeling...
But lately it seems like that is the story of my life.. One "rollercoaster" after another. And in the Valleyfair world, it isn't such a good feeling when you are thrown up and down in spirling circles while clinging to your lunch for dear life. I feel like I am going through a tunnel and I don't know which way I am going to go next. I can't tell whether or not it will be an alright day, or a catastrophic argument that ensues.
I guess I just need to continue praying for strength, protection and direction from God.. That's all we can do when we are on a rollercoaster, right?
I still love that feeling...
But lately it seems like that is the story of my life.. One "rollercoaster" after another. And in the Valleyfair world, it isn't such a good feeling when you are thrown up and down in spirling circles while clinging to your lunch for dear life. I feel like I am going through a tunnel and I don't know which way I am going to go next. I can't tell whether or not it will be an alright day, or a catastrophic argument that ensues.
I guess I just need to continue praying for strength, protection and direction from God.. That's all we can do when we are on a rollercoaster, right?
25 July, 2010
Mi Familia
I am sitting in my bedroom right now. Downstairs. In the ceiling of my room,I hear footsteps above me... Through my door, through the family room, up the stairs, and in the kitchen and living room, I hear laughter.. The sweet sound of my family. My entire extended family. Most people are here. A few are on their way. One is still in Alaska. But the majority of my family is here. When I am with them, I have a sense of peace. I have security, knowing that no matter what, through anything, they are going to be there. To talk to. To listen. To hug. To cry on. To laugh with. My family...
Is the best.
As I sit down here, tears come to my eyes. I can only pray that my family will be like this someday. That my grandchildren will be as many as this. I can only hope that I will always continue to hear the sounds of Charlie laughing... Or Brent freaking my dad out... I hope I can hear my grandpa say "Where's my kiss, Kelsie?" I hope that My little cousins mischievous voices will always be there. I hope that I hear Brad lecturing us all about motorcycle care... I hope the best for my entire family. I love them ALL. No matter what arguments happen, no matter when I am frustrated, I will ALWAYS love and appreciate every single one of them for what and who they are.
I love this sound.
Thank you, Jesus.
Is the best.
As I sit down here, tears come to my eyes. I can only pray that my family will be like this someday. That my grandchildren will be as many as this. I can only hope that I will always continue to hear the sounds of Charlie laughing... Or Brent freaking my dad out... I hope I can hear my grandpa say "Where's my kiss, Kelsie?" I hope that My little cousins mischievous voices will always be there. I hope that I hear Brad lecturing us all about motorcycle care... I hope the best for my entire family. I love them ALL. No matter what arguments happen, no matter when I am frustrated, I will ALWAYS love and appreciate every single one of them for what and who they are.
I love this sound.
Thank you, Jesus.
23 July, 2010
Dare Ya
Remember when we were kids? Remember those days that seemed full of promise and laughter? Remember when school got out for the summer, and as you stepped off that bus, you breathed out a sigh of relief, and in a breath of fresh summer air? Remember when you had nothing to do, not too many responsibilities, and yet you still found something to keep you busy at every minute of the day?
That's because when we were kids, we had this natural sense of adventure... When we were kids, we always just knew that life was about adventure, and laughter, and imagination... We didn't care what other people thought as much... We didn't notice that our friend didn't have a name-brand shirt on. We didn't notice the size of our best friend's house, or the number of new curtains they had. We noticed the important things... Like how much ice cream was in the freezer.. How the couches downstairs could make awesome forts.. How the yard in the back could double as a pirate ship... Or a castle.. Or a horse farm..
Well I dare you, when you finish reading this, to...
Go to a concert just for the heck of it
Go see a movie alone
Go sky diving
Go to the airport with a loved one, and get on the next flight that leaves for a
mini vacation... Not knowing flight times when you drive there.
Drive with the windows down, and the AC off. Let your hair get a little messy...Even while you are on your way to work.
Laugh at something silly
Run like kids do, with your arms flailing everywhere, and your legs stretching out as far as they will go, and carry you as far as they want.
Make a marshmallow over the fire
Listen to what your kids are saying. They may be more intelligent then you give them credit for.
Give someone a hug that deserves one, no matter who it is.
Stop your car on the side of the road to look at a pretty sunset.
Eat pizza in the middle of a parkinglot. With root beer.
Enjoy the car, house, couches, lampshades, food, appliances, and family you've got. No need for an upgrade.
Go to a different country.
Take a two month road trip. Don't plan out where you are going to go
Ignore the multi-colored monstrosity in your bedroom, that is your unfolded clothes. Instead, take your child out for dessert.
Take a class on whatever interests you.
Sleep outside in the hammock.
Tell someone you love them, just because.
Be creative in how you tell people you love them.
Be original. God made you YOU for a reason. Take a chance. Enjoy every second of life.
Live life on the edge... You never know what can happen. You never know when your life will end. You never know what opportunity will present itself next... Take advantage of each one. Don't look back on your life and wish you had done more, or been more care-free. Life isn't about getting the biggest or best. It is about who you spend it with and how much fun and laughter you brought into the world.. How many neat experiences you had... It is about bringing God joy, by having joy.
I think so many people get bogged down by the necessities of "life". The no-nonsense, pragmatic types think that anyone who doesn't feel the weight of the world upon themselves is irresponsible, or is just "blind". I don't agree at all. I think that those who don't let life get the best of them are actually the ones that thrive and prosper in the long run. I am one of those people. I refuse to let life pull me into it's clutches. I refuse to conform to anyone but myself.
I dare you to find what you love... And do it!
That's because when we were kids, we had this natural sense of adventure... When we were kids, we always just knew that life was about adventure, and laughter, and imagination... We didn't care what other people thought as much... We didn't notice that our friend didn't have a name-brand shirt on. We didn't notice the size of our best friend's house, or the number of new curtains they had. We noticed the important things... Like how much ice cream was in the freezer.. How the couches downstairs could make awesome forts.. How the yard in the back could double as a pirate ship... Or a castle.. Or a horse farm..
Well I dare you, when you finish reading this, to...
Go to a concert just for the heck of it
Go see a movie alone
Go sky diving
Go to the airport with a loved one, and get on the next flight that leaves for a
mini vacation... Not knowing flight times when you drive there.
Drive with the windows down, and the AC off. Let your hair get a little messy...Even while you are on your way to work.
Laugh at something silly
Run like kids do, with your arms flailing everywhere, and your legs stretching out as far as they will go, and carry you as far as they want.
Make a marshmallow over the fire
Listen to what your kids are saying. They may be more intelligent then you give them credit for.
Give someone a hug that deserves one, no matter who it is.
Stop your car on the side of the road to look at a pretty sunset.
Eat pizza in the middle of a parkinglot. With root beer.
Enjoy the car, house, couches, lampshades, food, appliances, and family you've got. No need for an upgrade.
Go to a different country.
Take a two month road trip. Don't plan out where you are going to go
Ignore the multi-colored monstrosity in your bedroom, that is your unfolded clothes. Instead, take your child out for dessert.
Take a class on whatever interests you.
Sleep outside in the hammock.
Tell someone you love them, just because.
Be creative in how you tell people you love them.
Be original. God made you YOU for a reason. Take a chance. Enjoy every second of life.
Live life on the edge... You never know what can happen. You never know when your life will end. You never know what opportunity will present itself next... Take advantage of each one. Don't look back on your life and wish you had done more, or been more care-free. Life isn't about getting the biggest or best. It is about who you spend it with and how much fun and laughter you brought into the world.. How many neat experiences you had... It is about bringing God joy, by having joy.
I think so many people get bogged down by the necessities of "life". The no-nonsense, pragmatic types think that anyone who doesn't feel the weight of the world upon themselves is irresponsible, or is just "blind". I don't agree at all. I think that those who don't let life get the best of them are actually the ones that thrive and prosper in the long run. I am one of those people. I refuse to let life pull me into it's clutches. I refuse to conform to anyone but myself.
I dare you to find what you love... And do it!
17 July, 2010
Let's Get Real
The title of my whole blog is "genuine". The purpose for my blog is to share with the people that want to know, all the things going on in my life, all the realizations I have, etc.. Who I really am. Well- lastnight there was a huge "talk" that pushed me over the edge. For all that were involved, you told me that it bugs you when I am not "real" with you. And that's why there is judgement passed.
The reason I am not always totally real with you, is because I know either way there will be judgement. But here goes- here is the faults of the REAL Kelsie.
I can be a very caring person. I can be very understanding and submissive sometimes. I have deep and passionate feelings for a lot of things.
I have messed up a lot in my lifetime. I have slept with more than one person, I have lied about things I don't even remember. I HATE when someone corrects me about the way I raise my child. Yeah, SOMETIMES it may scare you, the things I let her do... You think I am putting her in dangerous situations. But I am letting her assert her independence. I am letting her put to the test what she can and can't handle. I enjoy joking around and laughing and being goofy.. Maybe you outta try it out- your marriage might be a little easier.
I absolutely can not wait to be a wife someday. (Hopefully sooner than later).
I like some hip hop music. No, I do not think it is a sin to like it. I think that it talks about the same stuff you guys listened to when you were my age... I mean come ON. The Beatles? Beach boys? Sex pistols? even FRANK Sinatra, talked about "those California girls" and about "drinking" and stuff.. And that's not even the worst of it. "La-la-la-la lola... " Prime example. That song is about a transsexual. "Is it a he or a she?" ... Pretty sure the new age music isn't any worse.
Another thing about me is I HATE being judged. That's why I don't share with a lot of people the true me. Because there is always judgement. "Kelsie doesn't take care of Elle right" "Kelsie does this wrong" "Kelsie is loopy".
I smoked a cigarette twice in my life. No, three times. Once was in 8th grade because I wanted to see what it was like. Once was when I was driving to Century College. And the other time was when I was at Coldstone. I don't think that that one was just a cigarette though. Pretty sure the person who gave it to me put something else in it. But I didn't know.
I have smoked two or three cigars in my life.
I have had alcohol before. And you know what? I didn't get addicted.
I LOVE Elle with all my heart.
I think caring about how your house looks is stupid. It is a passing thing. Who cares how big it is? Who cares if the curtains match the carpet? Who CARES if you have name brand clothes? I think that is a petty and very materialistic thing to care about. And that is wrong.
I love adventure.
I don't care if sometimes I cause trouble. I am an independent person from anybody else. I will get a piercing if I want. I will go on a day trip to Duluth if I want. I hate when other people look down on me for trying to have fun.
I LOVE being in love. I love it. I love making people smile and I don't care if it offends someone else. They can look away if they want. I love joking around. I prefer not to have a career. But I might end up getting one :just in case: . I do weird things sometimes. I enjoy attention. I love laughing with my best friend Katie. I love talking to my friends parents about everything and nothing at the same time.
I get excited about things and I am usually very optimistic. And it bothers me when people look down on me because of that.
Just because I like to have FUN in my life and be carefree doesn't mean I am in the wrong.
If you old farts would lighten up a bit sometime and have a little adventure, maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.
I believe you can have responsibility but also have a good time. I don't think life always has to be serious. I actually think it rarely should. God gives us one time on this earth. Might as well make the best of it. No,
I am not saying "We should party it up!" But I am saying that you people have no right to judge me or my actions just as much as I don't have the right to judge you or yours. Even though I am admitting all the things I do wrong, there are more things I do "right" than those I do "wrong". At least I have the guts to stand up and say I am NOT PERFECT! But I do believe there is a God that will protect me from all the sins I have ever done and I do believe He is faithful and forgiving and loving and kind. I believe that no matter how wrong I have been in the past, He can save me from it. No, I am not perfect. Don't expect me to be. But this is a glimpse into the "real" Kelsie. Are you happy? Does this post make you feel good that you know everything I have done wrong? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Or does it make you understand why I haven't talked about some of these things... Because I know a lot of you "faithful followers" are going to focus on my wrongs- not my rights. Stop raining on my parade. Yours can stink but that doesn't mean mine has to. I prefer to be happy and easy going to care free and free-spirited... And I prefer to forget all the things I have done wrong. Not bring them up again. I don't do that to you, so stop doing it to me. I forgive you for yours and won't ever hold them against you.
Because you know what?
That. is. how. I. am.
Don't like it? I'm not changing.
So, yes, let's get real. I am.
Your turn.
The reason I am not always totally real with you, is because I know either way there will be judgement. But here goes- here is the faults of the REAL Kelsie.
I can be a very caring person. I can be very understanding and submissive sometimes. I have deep and passionate feelings for a lot of things.
I have messed up a lot in my lifetime. I have slept with more than one person, I have lied about things I don't even remember. I HATE when someone corrects me about the way I raise my child. Yeah, SOMETIMES it may scare you, the things I let her do... You think I am putting her in dangerous situations. But I am letting her assert her independence. I am letting her put to the test what she can and can't handle. I enjoy joking around and laughing and being goofy.. Maybe you outta try it out- your marriage might be a little easier.
I absolutely can not wait to be a wife someday. (Hopefully sooner than later).
I like some hip hop music. No, I do not think it is a sin to like it. I think that it talks about the same stuff you guys listened to when you were my age... I mean come ON. The Beatles? Beach boys? Sex pistols? even FRANK Sinatra, talked about "those California girls" and about "drinking" and stuff.. And that's not even the worst of it. "La-la-la-la lola... " Prime example. That song is about a transsexual. "Is it a he or a she?" ... Pretty sure the new age music isn't any worse.
Another thing about me is I HATE being judged. That's why I don't share with a lot of people the true me. Because there is always judgement. "Kelsie doesn't take care of Elle right" "Kelsie does this wrong" "Kelsie is loopy".
I smoked a cigarette twice in my life. No, three times. Once was in 8th grade because I wanted to see what it was like. Once was when I was driving to Century College. And the other time was when I was at Coldstone. I don't think that that one was just a cigarette though. Pretty sure the person who gave it to me put something else in it. But I didn't know.
I have smoked two or three cigars in my life.
I have had alcohol before. And you know what? I didn't get addicted.
I LOVE Elle with all my heart.
I think caring about how your house looks is stupid. It is a passing thing. Who cares how big it is? Who cares if the curtains match the carpet? Who CARES if you have name brand clothes? I think that is a petty and very materialistic thing to care about. And that is wrong.
I love adventure.
I don't care if sometimes I cause trouble. I am an independent person from anybody else. I will get a piercing if I want. I will go on a day trip to Duluth if I want. I hate when other people look down on me for trying to have fun.
I LOVE being in love. I love it. I love making people smile and I don't care if it offends someone else. They can look away if they want. I love joking around. I prefer not to have a career. But I might end up getting one :just in case: . I do weird things sometimes. I enjoy attention. I love laughing with my best friend Katie. I love talking to my friends parents about everything and nothing at the same time.
I get excited about things and I am usually very optimistic. And it bothers me when people look down on me because of that.
Just because I like to have FUN in my life and be carefree doesn't mean I am in the wrong.
If you old farts would lighten up a bit sometime and have a little adventure, maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.
I believe you can have responsibility but also have a good time. I don't think life always has to be serious. I actually think it rarely should. God gives us one time on this earth. Might as well make the best of it. No,
I am not saying "We should party it up!" But I am saying that you people have no right to judge me or my actions just as much as I don't have the right to judge you or yours. Even though I am admitting all the things I do wrong, there are more things I do "right" than those I do "wrong". At least I have the guts to stand up and say I am NOT PERFECT! But I do believe there is a God that will protect me from all the sins I have ever done and I do believe He is faithful and forgiving and loving and kind. I believe that no matter how wrong I have been in the past, He can save me from it. No, I am not perfect. Don't expect me to be. But this is a glimpse into the "real" Kelsie. Are you happy? Does this post make you feel good that you know everything I have done wrong? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Or does it make you understand why I haven't talked about some of these things... Because I know a lot of you "faithful followers" are going to focus on my wrongs- not my rights. Stop raining on my parade. Yours can stink but that doesn't mean mine has to. I prefer to be happy and easy going to care free and free-spirited... And I prefer to forget all the things I have done wrong. Not bring them up again. I don't do that to you, so stop doing it to me. I forgive you for yours and won't ever hold them against you.
Because you know what?
That. is. how. I. am.
Don't like it? I'm not changing.
So, yes, let's get real. I am.
Your turn.
12 July, 2010
God's astounding creation
Whenever I get frustrated, I run. And run. And run some more. Today was definitely one of those days. Nothing really went right. I was sore all day, and it definitely didn't help that I had to take an extra long lunch to try and squeeze in before the deadline for getting a passport. (The fees are going up $35 as of tomorrow) Needless to say, I was just not in the mood for anything. So when I got home, Ell was still taking a nap. So I went for a run. As I was running off my steam, I started looking around me... And really studying. And as I continued to run farther and farther, my frustrations slowly faded off in the distance.. And my mind was instead filled with all the things around me. The sound of my feet hitting the pavement. The quiet chirping of birds in the trees playing amongst themselves. The smell of fresh cut grass. And as I was running back up my road, I saw the sunset in its magnificance. Glowing orange and yellow.. All sorts of colors off in the sky.. It was as if God was saying "As the sun fades, let your frustrations fade, Kels. Cling to me. Let me be your happiness."
And let me tell ya-
it just might be working.
And let me tell ya-
it just might be working.
09 July, 2010
Solomon: A man of many great Proverbs..(And not just the chinese ones)
What is (one of the many things) wrong with America today? You know that I think? I think that they try to come up with all these different ways to "be successful" in life. They make charts, they make line graphs, and they even dare to write "How to succeed in life" books. Go take a look at the millions of books on "self-help" in the library or at your local Boarders bookstore. You will find books upon books that make feeble attempts explain to you how to live life successfully.. And after you have read all these books, and have taken each step, you are still not fulfilled. Why?
Because you are not following the correct book.
If I can be frank with you, those books suck. There is one book, though, that I fully believe will solve all your problems... And it has the "successful life" spelled out perfectly. It has everything you need in order to live one of those coveted lifestyles. The book is the Bible. And the place in the bible is Proverbs. Solomon did an excellent job writing this. It has all the ingredients you need to "live life successfully".
Check it out!
Because you are not following the correct book.
If I can be frank with you, those books suck. There is one book, though, that I fully believe will solve all your problems... And it has the "successful life" spelled out perfectly. It has everything you need in order to live one of those coveted lifestyles. The book is the Bible. And the place in the bible is Proverbs. Solomon did an excellent job writing this. It has all the ingredients you need to "live life successfully".
Check it out!
02 July, 2010
WANTED: Prayer.
If you are reading this, you are obviously interested in mine and Elle's lives, or you care about us to some extent. For the past year and a half, (about) it has been on my heart very heavily to do a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) DTS. If you don't know what that is, it is what is called "Discipleship Training School". Basically what the YWAM program consists of, is a two and a half month training course on God and His love and how to be disciples of Christ. The other two and a half months are what is called an "outreach phase". This is where the students of YWAM go into different parts of the world, (each base has it's own destination) and reach out to others... Sometimes it is through sharing testimonies, sometimes it is through just talking on the streets and shining a light on others... There are various ways God allows YWAM students lead others toward Christ...
(As I am typing this, Elle just ran into my room and yelled "MAMA! Look I got a shirt!" It is an orange tank top with pink straps.. She is my little darling!- Which reminds me of how much God has blessed me with her. She has so much excitement and appreciation for the smallest things... And it reminds me that I should too.. Thank you, God, for putting Elle in my life.)
Anyway, I feel that Elle and I have been called to do a DTS this fall. I am asking whoever reads this to put me and Elle on their prayer list and just pray that we will have peace about which base to go to and pray that God will keep us safe while we are there. And if He wants us to go, that He will provide a way financially. We are struggling the way it is to have money and keep it. I am not sure that without financial support, I could even go... But We are trusting God for that.
I am trying to decide between two bases right now. There is the Madison, WI base and the Weyerhaeuser, WI base. Both are excellent bases recomended by many. But both are very different. The Madison base is huge and has tons of students.. The Weyerhaeuser base is very small... Only about 25 people are usually there, including staff. I can't decide which is right for Elle and myself... Which is where you guys come in. Your prayer will help lead me in the right diection.
You all know how energetic I am and how I can get so excited about things I care about. Now imagine if I knew how to channel ALL that energy toward God's kingdom and on people down here that need His love. Thank you so much for your support and love through all these life-altering decsions to be made.
(As I am typing this, Elle just ran into my room and yelled "MAMA! Look I got a shirt!" It is an orange tank top with pink straps.. She is my little darling!- Which reminds me of how much God has blessed me with her. She has so much excitement and appreciation for the smallest things... And it reminds me that I should too.. Thank you, God, for putting Elle in my life.)
Anyway, I feel that Elle and I have been called to do a DTS this fall. I am asking whoever reads this to put me and Elle on their prayer list and just pray that we will have peace about which base to go to and pray that God will keep us safe while we are there. And if He wants us to go, that He will provide a way financially. We are struggling the way it is to have money and keep it. I am not sure that without financial support, I could even go... But We are trusting God for that.
I am trying to decide between two bases right now. There is the Madison, WI base and the Weyerhaeuser, WI base. Both are excellent bases recomended by many. But both are very different. The Madison base is huge and has tons of students.. The Weyerhaeuser base is very small... Only about 25 people are usually there, including staff. I can't decide which is right for Elle and myself... Which is where you guys come in. Your prayer will help lead me in the right diection.
You all know how energetic I am and how I can get so excited about things I care about. Now imagine if I knew how to channel ALL that energy toward God's kingdom and on people down here that need His love. Thank you so much for your support and love through all these life-altering decsions to be made.
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