Kind of a bitter post, after reading this once over.

Hookay... SO...

This past weekend was such a blast, I went for more! Monday Sharon called me up and invited me there for the remainder of the week (Aitkin) and I packed up mine and Elle's stuff of Tuesday and drove there. I spent the week with her and Anya. I feel like I am really getting to know them on a more personal level. I enjoy every moment with them and I cling to the words Sharon gives me. She is so knowledgable and she is in tune with God (from my opinion)... And she is just a really cool person to be around. And then there's Anya... She is so sweet and caring and she loves spending time with me as well... They just really made this week a lot of fun.. I learned how to bake CHEESECAKE AND BANANA BREAD (!!) and I got to go to Brainard with them and meet the max. capacity of weight with my car. (well it wasnt MAX capacity, but there was sure a lot of stuff crammed in there!!) And then we half cleaned the boys' room... I just really enjoyed my time there. I feel like that might end up being my "home away from home". I just really feel at peace there. There isn't stuff that I can get in to trouble with, and there are people there that just uplift me and are there to talk to and who I can listen to... I am getting very comfortable with Sharon and Anya... Just opening up to them about hurts I have and frustrations... And struggling to forgive myself about the past... But then Sharon showed me Psalm 51 and it was a letter of repentance.. And it just hit me really hard. I realized that no matter what, I cannot change my past. And I know that God has forgiven me for it.. And because HE can, WHO am I to say that I can't forgive myself? When the Creator of the Universe has enough grace for me.... It's kind of like a slap in the face to Him not to forgive myself. I think that's PART of why I am so open with people about my mistakes that I have made. (because I have truly saught to forgive myself and don't want others to have to deal with the same things... So instead of doing what some people like to do, and holding it all in, waiting for others to make mistakes and then judge them and tell them what they should have done, I have decided to be very open about my past and my mistakes and give people the whole truth and what I have learned out of the situation... ) Josiah taught me to be. He has always been pretty open about everything. And that is something I admire in him.
I figure that anyone who judges you for being open and honest about yourself isn't worth really talking to in the first place. If people are going to get frustrated with me and start telling me how I feel and how I should think, I guess the best thing to do is just pray for them.. That their hearts would change and let me be me... It's my turn.. And I want to try to do it without negativity and without judgement every step of the way. I want support in what I do... I am trying to be the best mother and person I can be. And I am trying to follow God. And with everything I do, I go to Him in prayer. And no matter what any human says, it is HIM that I answer to. So they can judge me all they want I guess, but it's not going to change my thoughts or feelings...


Ok, I am a LITTLE bit frustrated. But I needed to get this out. It may not make any sense, but all these things are swarming around in my head and I just needed to get them out.
Tomorrow I will probably regret this post.
Maybe not.
I'm only human.

What did you expect? Perfection?

Weekend Wonders

This weekend was AMAZING.

There are so many things I want to say... But I can't put them all into words.

We spent the weekend in Aitkin again. Our little family unit... It was a blast.

Saturday we spent a while digging logs out of the sand and throwing them into the truck and trailer. We got a bunch of night crawlers. (!) Anya was cracking me up... She is so sweet and fun to be around! Sunday we hung out all day... Cleaned some things... Went to church... Hung out and pretty much had a great day... Marty and Sharon were telling us how they met and started dating and how they came to be... :-) I really enjoy my time with them. I feel like family when I am there. I feel so at home and comfortable.

We didn't leave there 'til about 1130 or 12.

I so want to be a part of that family OFFICIALLY. They are awesome. Such a great influence and I gain so much knowledge from them...

OHHH my oh my..

Thinking Drinking Sinking Feeling

Fresh Breeze...
Fresh smelling Elle...
Fresh start...
Fresh thoughts...
Fresh undies...
Fresh smelling laundry...

Everything is fresh today...

God gives us fresh starts over and over and over again. We're so blessed.

Tonight's gonna be a good night. ;)

"ABCDEFG HIJK MMMNOP" -Elle Hultberg

She sings the cutest songs EVER. And some songs that she knows I don't even understand how she can remember them!!

Nothing really new here except this past weekend I went to Aitkin with Josiah while Elle was at Grant's.
I had a blast!
We are going back this weekend for more. But this time we are bringing Elle.

I am going to marry that boy someday.

These are a few from the wedding. This day couldn't have been more perfect!!!

I now have a brother-in-law. Tony Karel. Amazing guy, if I am allowed to say that. ;-)

Elle had to of been the CUTEST flower girl ever made! She did such a wonderful job!

Mission Accomplished

My sister is married! Praise God! :) Today went very well. Elle did WONDERFULLY walking up as the flower girl. At the end of her walk I whispered to her "Ok good job! You're all done!" And her response was "No i'm not! There's still more in there!" And Elle proceeded to dump her basket upside down and let the rest of the flowers fall to the ground. It was so cute-

Time to relax now. Finally.

I don't really have much else to say other than what we came to FL to accomplish was completed and I am so happy!

Elle got a good nap today.
Also Praise GOD

F-U-N fun fun 'til her daddy forgets to put on deoderant..

First off, today is going to a lot better. Elle's temp is down (Praise God!!) We are going to hang out with Katie and my aunts. It's sunny and perfect. God is so wonderful..

Dad forgot to put on deoderant again. Why is it that this only happens on vacation? :-S

Today is going to be full of adventure and excitement. Building castles on the beach with E.

I love these flowers (!!!!) They smell so wonderful! He is GOLD.

Flying, Frustration, and FINALLY FLORIDA!

So we're in Florida. And the last couple days were definitely not a vacation!
Yesterday we flew all day. Elle had a temp of 102.5-103.5 all day. Finally after sitting outside by the pool for 3 hours with her miserable, sick, tired, little body, I felt it my fit my duty as a mother to seek professional help... So that's what we did.. at midnight lastnight, we were driving trying to find a hospital. We finally got in there, and the person who checked us in was really creepy. He stated that we needed to take her temp rectally and I wouldn't have it. So the nurse that helped us after the "real" doctor came in was very helpful... She gave Elle her medication and snuck the rest of the bottle to us... So we wouldn't have to go to the store and buy more. She was told to go throw the rest of it away! That is what is wrong with this country... The doctors give medication to patients then throw the rest of the bottle away, making the patient go buy more at the store... What a WASTE!!!
Anyways, I'm done ranting.

BACK TO MY STORY.
After we got her medication, we went home and I didn't wake up til one this afternoon. My mother and myself went to Walmart and got $150 worth of groceries today. Then we went to the beach. Elle got hot again when we were going to go downtown and by the grace of God took her medicine when we got home. She has been sleeping ever since.

On to another subject- When me and my mom brought Elle home tonight to put her down, there were flowers on the doorstep... Josiah. :)
p.s. my mom called it.
All we can do for Elle is to keep on praying and hoping God will take her fever down-

Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water.

Ahh gotta love Napoleon. What a great man. Today Grant has Elle. I don't know what I am going to do with myself. I'm bored. I need to find some friends that are my age. Not two...
We are leaving Sunday morning at 4 AM for the airport. KATIE'S WEDDING IS IN A WEEK.