Today I learned something:
The person that God wants in my life will be there no matter what. And when I found that person, I shouldn't have ever let him go.
To Josiah Benjamin Ellis:
You are the best friend I could ever have asked for.
You are everything I need and want in one.
I am so sorry I hurt you so bad in the past. I am so sorry that I have put you through so much junk... But ya know what? Us walking through all of it really proves our friendship. And the fact that we are still friends shows that we are definitely not going to lose each other.
Not sure if any of that made any sense.
But- I do know that you are the kindest, most understanding, forgiving, loyal, sweetest, attractive, cheerful, zany, kind-hearted, interesting, magnificent, protective, witty, silly, adorable, honorable, honest, attentive, clever, considerate, most spontaneous friend I have EVER had.
Thank you so much for caring about me and being a part of my life.. a HUGE part!
And I thank God so much for you. Your input. Your love. Your compassion and encouragement toward me when no one else has any faith in me.
THANK YOU JOSIAH ELLIS.
Here's to the next 70+ years of being in each other's life, experiencing new things together, learning more about each other; becoming closer and closer of the best of friends.
Love ya Josiah
Kelsie J. Hultberg
23 February, 2011
16 February, 2011
I am HIS
I have been going to this Women's Bible study the last month or so and it is a bible study on hearing God's voice. This is a study that is definitely a "God-thing" because it is EXACTLY what I need right now at this stage of my life.
One thing that hit me is that
GOD KNOWS ME... I am His daughter. Much like I know Elle... What she needs, how much slack I can give her, how tight I need to hold those reins, what she can handle and what she can't, God knows that about me! So who am I to compare what God gives to other people?
Exactly.
I have no business doing that.
If God wants my best friend to be married and not me, though that is the desire of my heart right now, then that is what is best for me.
If God knows I can't handle a certain movie, that's alright- He knows best. As I continue to move and press in to Him, He will "give me the desires of my heart".. Meaning that the Holy Spirit will change my hearts desires to line up more and more with what God wants for my life.
God knows that I wouldn't be able to make healthy decisions living on my own and so right now, at this time in my life, He has me in my parent's home.
There are so many things that became so clear tonight. I wondered "Why, God, do you have me at this PLACE AND STAGE in life?" And tonight I just found out why.
Because, like I want to protect my daughter from any harm to herself, God wants to protect me- His daughter.
Another thing I learned tonight is that God doesn't need to be someone I talk to when I want something... I mean, I already knew that. But it was brought to my attention that God is someone who deserves a RELATIONSHIP with me.
I mean, I don't want to be friends with someone who just wants to be my friend to get something for his/herself, but I want someone to be friends with me because they genuinely want to CONNECT with me. "Kelsie, when you go to the Word, or you go to God, are you looking at/for things YOU want, or are you looking at/for what you can learn about God?"
That question has truly hit some strings in my heart tonight.
Deut 4:29- "But from there you will seek the Lord your God , and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul."
One thing that hit me is that
GOD KNOWS ME... I am His daughter. Much like I know Elle... What she needs, how much slack I can give her, how tight I need to hold those reins, what she can handle and what she can't, God knows that about me! So who am I to compare what God gives to other people?
Exactly.
I have no business doing that.
If God wants my best friend to be married and not me, though that is the desire of my heart right now, then that is what is best for me.
If God knows I can't handle a certain movie, that's alright- He knows best. As I continue to move and press in to Him, He will "give me the desires of my heart".. Meaning that the Holy Spirit will change my hearts desires to line up more and more with what God wants for my life.
God knows that I wouldn't be able to make healthy decisions living on my own and so right now, at this time in my life, He has me in my parent's home.
There are so many things that became so clear tonight. I wondered "Why, God, do you have me at this PLACE AND STAGE in life?" And tonight I just found out why.
Because, like I want to protect my daughter from any harm to herself, God wants to protect me- His daughter.
Another thing I learned tonight is that God doesn't need to be someone I talk to when I want something... I mean, I already knew that. But it was brought to my attention that God is someone who deserves a RELATIONSHIP with me.
I mean, I don't want to be friends with someone who just wants to be my friend to get something for his/herself, but I want someone to be friends with me because they genuinely want to CONNECT with me. "Kelsie, when you go to the Word, or you go to God, are you looking at/for things YOU want, or are you looking at/for what you can learn about God?"
That question has truly hit some strings in my heart tonight.
Deut 4:29- "But from there you will seek the Lord your God , and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul."
13 February, 2011
Kelsie 101
I have been thinking a lot. About every area of my life and here's what I have come up with:
I don't need to listen to the negatives in this world. I HAVE changed and am continuing to change. It's just that this time it is a slower moving change, because I am not doing it to please people- I am doing it at my own pace, with my Lord.
I don't need to spill my guts to everyone about everything going on in my life to prove I am being honest- just a few close friends will do.
It is OK and not irresponsible to see the light in things - even laugh- even though everything around me is crumbling.
It is a good thing to talk to my daughter like she knows what I am saying-because 99% of the time she does! There is absolutely no use in dumbing things down for my child unless it is to protect her spiritually or physically.
It is perfectly acceptable to let people fall out of my life who don't need to be there- family or not- if they can judge me and say stuff behind my back, I can write them out. Just because I have screwed up doesn't mean that I should let myself me beaten up over it.
I deserve to be loved: Even though I have screwed it up in the past.
Jer. 31:3 I AM LOVED WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE!
I AM important in someones eye. Deut. 32:10 says that I am the APPLE of His eye!
I DO have the ability to accomplish anything in front of me... Being an AWESOME parent, a wonderful wife, an example to others... 2 Cor 3:5 says that HE has made me competent in Him!!
I am NOT too guilty to accomplish anything. MY conscience has NOT been over ridden with guilt and shame yet... HEBREWS 9:14 says that the blood of Jesus Christ has cleansed my conscience because my sins were nailed to the cross.
And lastly, I am the way I am because of tons of events in my life- if I let my sins get me down, or I let people keep mauling me with my past, I am going to go nowhere... So it is definitely the right thing to move on, take my share of responsibility for my junk, watch who I talk to, have a blast, and serve God for the rest of my life!
Thank you so much Lord, for second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, tenth, thousandth, millionth chances.. And all those in between.
I don't need to listen to the negatives in this world. I HAVE changed and am continuing to change. It's just that this time it is a slower moving change, because I am not doing it to please people- I am doing it at my own pace, with my Lord.
I don't need to spill my guts to everyone about everything going on in my life to prove I am being honest- just a few close friends will do.
It is OK and not irresponsible to see the light in things - even laugh- even though everything around me is crumbling.
It is a good thing to talk to my daughter like she knows what I am saying-because 99% of the time she does! There is absolutely no use in dumbing things down for my child unless it is to protect her spiritually or physically.
It is perfectly acceptable to let people fall out of my life who don't need to be there- family or not- if they can judge me and say stuff behind my back, I can write them out. Just because I have screwed up doesn't mean that I should let myself me beaten up over it.
I deserve to be loved: Even though I have screwed it up in the past.
Jer. 31:3 I AM LOVED WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE!
I AM important in someones eye. Deut. 32:10 says that I am the APPLE of His eye!
I DO have the ability to accomplish anything in front of me... Being an AWESOME parent, a wonderful wife, an example to others... 2 Cor 3:5 says that HE has made me competent in Him!!
I am NOT too guilty to accomplish anything. MY conscience has NOT been over ridden with guilt and shame yet... HEBREWS 9:14 says that the blood of Jesus Christ has cleansed my conscience because my sins were nailed to the cross.
And lastly, I am the way I am because of tons of events in my life- if I let my sins get me down, or I let people keep mauling me with my past, I am going to go nowhere... So it is definitely the right thing to move on, take my share of responsibility for my junk, watch who I talk to, have a blast, and serve God for the rest of my life!
Thank you so much Lord, for second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, tenth, thousandth, millionth chances.. And all those in between.
12 February, 2011
Thank God
Tonight as I was putting my daughter into bed... Saying our prayers... Talking about our day, she grabs my face... And says, in the most breath-taking voice, "Mommy, you are SO beautiful...."
When I think back to the time I was pregnant, I think about the choices I had to make. It wasn't just a normal pregnancy. There were lots of other elements added into it.
I think about all the decisions... Abortion? Absolutely NOT. Adoption or raising her?
And boy, am I sure glad I made the decision I did.
I can't imagine another person raising my daughter right now... All the laughs would belong to some other parent. All the giggles... Tears... Frustrations...
Thank you so much God, for helping me make the decision I did.
When I think back to the time I was pregnant, I think about the choices I had to make. It wasn't just a normal pregnancy. There were lots of other elements added into it.
I think about all the decisions... Abortion? Absolutely NOT. Adoption or raising her?
And boy, am I sure glad I made the decision I did.
I can't imagine another person raising my daughter right now... All the laughs would belong to some other parent. All the giggles... Tears... Frustrations...
Thank you so much God, for helping me make the decision I did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)