Last night we went tubing.. My two cousins, two of my best friends, Elle and myself.
As we were goofing off on that hill it hit me- this is it.. This is the beginning of my new life.
God totally CAN make things beautiful.. He CAN and WILL help me turn my life around. I don't care what anyone else says.. They don't have to read this if they don't like it.
Sorry, but I KNOW that my God is full of unending, unconditional love.. And YES, that does come with consequences but it also comes with grace.. And I know that my God is always willing to meet me.. Right where I am at.
31 January, 2011
24 December, 2010
What I know.
There are so many things that have been happening in my life.. so much stress, both good and bad. But all I know is that God is the ultimate comforter. No matter what, I can always turn to Him and I know that even when I do wrong and fail at things, He is always willing to forgive me and let go.. Start new with me everyday. His mercies are new every morning. I know that when I do wrong, He can help me make it right. When it seems like I have no where else to go and I have made my life ugly and there is no solution, there Jesus is... Saying "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I DIED ON THAT CROSS FOR, KELS.. TAKE COMFORT IN THE FACT THAT I WILL TURN THIS INTO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.."
Thank you, Jesus..
Thank you.
Thank you, Jesus..
Thank you.
08 December, 2010
FREEDOM
I realized that I just like to be free.... Free-spirited.. Free to go where I want when I want... Free to be a mom and free to goof off with my daughter... I love being free to take long drives to nowhere, just enjoying singing with my daughter in the car... I enjoy being free from boundries sometimes.... But what I love the most is being FREE from my sin!!!
I can not thank Jesus enough for how He set me and all of us free.. We don't have to do anything. Just accept it! Have a relationship with Him... The one who created us. In that, we are the most free we can be.... Anyway- just a little snippet of what is going through my head today.
Soon I will update you all with my financial situation and what has been going on in my DTS.
If anyone who reads this needs prayer at all, please.. Call me. or email me. kjhultberg@gmail.com. Just feel FREE to contact me and I promise I will pray for you... Because everyone deserves to be prayed for...
I can not thank Jesus enough for how He set me and all of us free.. We don't have to do anything. Just accept it! Have a relationship with Him... The one who created us. In that, we are the most free we can be.... Anyway- just a little snippet of what is going through my head today.
Soon I will update you all with my financial situation and what has been going on in my DTS.
If anyone who reads this needs prayer at all, please.. Call me. or email me. kjhultberg@gmail.com. Just feel FREE to contact me and I promise I will pray for you... Because everyone deserves to be prayed for...
21 November, 2010
God's hand of protection
Lastnight I was driving back to my home in Weyerhaeuser, WI (a YWAM Base) and I was in the car with El. It was around 730 and I was going 55 on a two lane road. All the sudden a deer came in my lane from my right. And it poceeded to go rom my lane to the one with oncoming traffic. There happened to be a 4 door full size pickup heading right toward it. The truck driver swerved to miss the deer, and ended up in my lane. All I could think was "I am going to be dead. El is going to die." (She was behind me in her carseat.. And my mom had TOLD me that it was very unsafe for her to be behind me because of head on collisions. )
The truck got within a foot of my car. I was still going 55 mph (I assume he was too) I did NOT move my hands from the positions they were in. But within milliseconds my car was headed toward the ditch and then it was out of the ditch... A steep ditch. One that a car would have normally flipped over heading out of at such an angle at 55 mph. And guess what? We came back on to the road. In one piece. And I felt this warm feeling... From the core of my body.. And it radiated throughout my entire body as I was going through this. And all I can say was that God saved me. He took the wheel. He saved my daughter. He protected us. Completely.
I can't fully explain what happened lastnight. All I know is I am here and Elle is here. And I am thankful.
The truck got within a foot of my car. I was still going 55 mph (I assume he was too) I did NOT move my hands from the positions they were in. But within milliseconds my car was headed toward the ditch and then it was out of the ditch... A steep ditch. One that a car would have normally flipped over heading out of at such an angle at 55 mph. And guess what? We came back on to the road. In one piece. And I felt this warm feeling... From the core of my body.. And it radiated throughout my entire body as I was going through this. And all I can say was that God saved me. He took the wheel. He saved my daughter. He protected us. Completely.
I can't fully explain what happened lastnight. All I know is I am here and Elle is here. And I am thankful.
04 November, 2010
Moments Unrehearsed
Tonight we had a watercolor paint party in the dining room. It was magical. It is undoubtedly my pride and joy to see two little girls' faces light up when we get the colors out. I know there is so much creativity in their minds. We started on the paper... Then it migrated to the faces.. Then the hair.. Then the arms. Finally all over their shirts. But I didn't care. It's those unrehearsed, random moments.. The unplanned, unorganized, sometimes downright messy times that bring so much joy to life. And I praise God for letting me experience that. Just watching them giggle and paint each other.. (And the parents paint the girls.. haha) And watching their paint strokes on the pages, even if half of it is just water and no color is getting on the page.. It doesn't matter. It is so wonderful. And I have no doubt in my mind that God made me to be a mother.
To be able to just watch these girls and play with them and see how carefree they are.. It teaches me lessons- it's not about doing everything right or being neat all the time, (sometimes I need that reminder!) but about using imagination and creativity and sometimes that means letting loose on my own ideas of how a "playtime" should look like.. And letting them take control over it.. They come up with a lot better ideas than I do!
Thank you, Jesus for children and their imaginations. And their creativity. And for opening my heart to not only teach them, but to be able to learn from them too.
To be able to just watch these girls and play with them and see how carefree they are.. It teaches me lessons- it's not about doing everything right or being neat all the time, (sometimes I need that reminder!) but about using imagination and creativity and sometimes that means letting loose on my own ideas of how a "playtime" should look like.. And letting them take control over it.. They come up with a lot better ideas than I do!
Thank you, Jesus for children and their imaginations. And their creativity. And for opening my heart to not only teach them, but to be able to learn from them too.
29 October, 2010
Celebrate!
Elle turned three on Wednesday, 10.27.10! My baby is not a baby anymore. Here are a few pictures of the birthday party. It was so good to see so many people surrounding her in love and prayer.. And of course her best friend was there too, right next to her, takin peeks at all the presents they will get to play with!
I wrote her a letter when she was 11 days old. And I found it in one of her books.
11.07.07
Dear Elle,
You are sleeping right now. You are so beautiful. I haven't even had you two weeks and already you have consumed my life.. You just sneezed. I didn't know that it could be that cute! Oh man, God blessed me with such a gem.. You are a precious gem, Elle Anne Hultberg. I hope you grow up and I can teach you all the things you need to know. That's not reality. But wouldn't it be cool? I will try to teach you though. I will try to be consistent. I will try to tell you I love you every single day. I will appreciate you and everything you are going to do! You have such a full life ahead of you, Elle. You have your ENTIRE life. I hope you decide to use it to make Jesus smile. You are so wonderful, Elle.
I just fed you.
I love that feeling- I feel so close to you. When all you want is food, I am a blubbering fool, sobbing all over your perfect soft skin. You were made to be my daughter. And I was made to be your mother. I love you Elle
Love, Mom
__________________________________________________________
SIDE NOTE**
One thing I have learned at YWAM this year is that GOD IS EVERYWHERE. I mean I knew it in my head all along... But lastnight we were in a worship service with a group that comes to YWAM and speaks every year. It was their last night and they were holding a special meeting. As I sat there with my daughter wrapped up in my arms, I was watching people. They initially seemed to be feeling God's presence very strong. But then after watching for a while I got this check in my spirit. And it felt like everything was a show. A fake. I got really frustrated with myself for thinking that and left. I went upstairs and was putting Elle to bed. And fell beside myself sobbing. I couldn't stop. I couldn't catch my breath. So I called a good friend and was asked "How are you?" As I was trying to put on a brave voice, it was like I was transparent. He immediately knew something was going on. I told him how I was frustrated that I couldn't hear God. I couldn't feel God's presence. I couldn't be like everyone else... "Am I broken or something?" After listening to me go on and on, he stopped me and made me realize... When I go outside and see pretty colors.. That's God's presence. When I look at Elle in awe of her just BEING here... ALIVE... That's God. When I cry, laugh, think.. That's God. When I sleep.. When I wake up from a sound sleep in the middle of the night to Elle coughing and pray her back to sleep.. That is God. When I am miserable and call a friend and talk and end up happy... That's God in my life.
Everything around me is God. God God God God. He is my everything. He is my all in all. I don't have to be in a worship setting with the lights dimmed to feel God. I can do it anytime of the day in any place.
Now THAT is the God I get to have in my life. :)
I wrote her a letter when she was 11 days old. And I found it in one of her books.
11.07.07
Dear Elle,
You are sleeping right now. You are so beautiful. I haven't even had you two weeks and already you have consumed my life.. You just sneezed. I didn't know that it could be that cute! Oh man, God blessed me with such a gem.. You are a precious gem, Elle Anne Hultberg. I hope you grow up and I can teach you all the things you need to know. That's not reality. But wouldn't it be cool? I will try to teach you though. I will try to be consistent. I will try to tell you I love you every single day. I will appreciate you and everything you are going to do! You have such a full life ahead of you, Elle. You have your ENTIRE life. I hope you decide to use it to make Jesus smile. You are so wonderful, Elle.
I just fed you.
I love that feeling- I feel so close to you. When all you want is food, I am a blubbering fool, sobbing all over your perfect soft skin. You were made to be my daughter. And I was made to be your mother. I love you Elle
Love, Mom
__________________________________________________________
SIDE NOTE**
One thing I have learned at YWAM this year is that GOD IS EVERYWHERE. I mean I knew it in my head all along... But lastnight we were in a worship service with a group that comes to YWAM and speaks every year. It was their last night and they were holding a special meeting. As I sat there with my daughter wrapped up in my arms, I was watching people. They initially seemed to be feeling God's presence very strong. But then after watching for a while I got this check in my spirit. And it felt like everything was a show. A fake. I got really frustrated with myself for thinking that and left. I went upstairs and was putting Elle to bed. And fell beside myself sobbing. I couldn't stop. I couldn't catch my breath. So I called a good friend and was asked "How are you?" As I was trying to put on a brave voice, it was like I was transparent. He immediately knew something was going on. I told him how I was frustrated that I couldn't hear God. I couldn't feel God's presence. I couldn't be like everyone else... "Am I broken or something?" After listening to me go on and on, he stopped me and made me realize... When I go outside and see pretty colors.. That's God's presence. When I look at Elle in awe of her just BEING here... ALIVE... That's God. When I cry, laugh, think.. That's God. When I sleep.. When I wake up from a sound sleep in the middle of the night to Elle coughing and pray her back to sleep.. That is God. When I am miserable and call a friend and talk and end up happy... That's God in my life.
Everything around me is God. God God God God. He is my everything. He is my all in all. I don't have to be in a worship setting with the lights dimmed to feel God. I can do it anytime of the day in any place.
Now THAT is the God I get to have in my life. :)
25 October, 2010
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